Get a proper command line parser

[widlarizer]

Feature Description

Currently, we use a homemade getopt in kernel/driver.cc. We have lots of single letter options so to add a feature I want a full word option lke --option=value, which we don't support currently, which is probably why we have many single letter options in the first place.

Let's move to a boring, normal solution like cxxopts (C++11) or argparse (C++17). Our current demands will be met by just about anything, so we have to think about what we want from command line argument parsing in the future to pick something

[widlarizer]

This will have to respect #3973 and other possible quirks